He doesn't even want pirates touching their own booty (He won't even take soda in the can)

February 2012

“Happy Presidents Day. We have a lot of Presidents Day sales. Mitt Romney got a little confused. He thought the presidency was for sale.” –Jay Leno

“You think he's bad... Rick Santorum is so anti-gay, he doesn't even want pirates touching their own booty.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so conservative that when he goes to KFC, he only orders the right wings.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so anti-gay, he won't even eat a Hershey bar if it has nuts.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks a Labradoodle is a result of interracial marriage.” –Jay Leno

“How conservative is he? Rick Santorum won't even take soda in the can.” –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”