“Trump being in charge of the coronavirus is like if we put Chuck E. Cheese in charge of the antivirus.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“And the other rumor involving Pence is that a few days ago, Pence shook hands with a student in Florida, who has since been quarantined for potentially having the coronavirus. Team Pence denies this — which, of course they deny it. If Trump thought Pence was anywhere near the coronavirus, he’d never let him in the White House again. He’d keep him out in the yard, on a leash or something.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“President Trump said today that he has asked drug company executives to speed up the development of a coronavirus vaccine. Well, that’s why you get paid the big bucks.” —Seth Meyers
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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