“I’m glad Joe Biden is having a resurgence, but I’m still a little worried. Today, Biden walked into a voting booth, closed the curtain, and two minutes later yelled, ‘How do you flush this thing?’” —Jimmy Fallon
“Vermont was easily won by the original founder of the state, Bernie Sanders.” —Trevor Noah
“Bernie Sanders drove a Subaru to the polls to cast his vote. Meanwhile, Mike Bloomberg went around in an Uber driven by Bill de Blasio.” —Jimmy Fallon
“That’s right, folks, looks like, yet again, Bloomberg has come up short.” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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