"President Obama said he doesn't have time to play games with Republicans on a budget deal. Which is bad news for the new video game 'Wii Budget Deal.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma." –Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama has finally thrown his turban into the ring. So far the Republican field looks like a bunch of guys responding to a Craigslist ad for a free couch." –Stephen Colbert
"I love Dick Morris. It’s as if cholesterol and bile had a baby." –Jon Stewart
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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