Uncle Sam isn't going to let banks screw people over (Bill Clinton Slept Here)

"The Department of Justice shut down the biggest online poker sites for violating the law. None of the poker players saw it coming because they were all wearing those stupid little sunglasses. The poker sites broke the same law that prevents the banks from transferring money to offshore accounts. Now if there's anything I've learned, it's that Uncle Sam isn't going to let banks screw people over." –Craig Ferguson 

"Gambling and Washington don’t seem to go together at all. One's full of whores and seedy, soulless bastards and the other’s the gambling industry." –Craig Ferguson

"The boyhood home of Bill Clinton has been designated as a National Historic Site. It's great, but I hope it stops there. Because there are a million places that can say 'Bill Clinton Slept Here.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Forty percent of Americans say they would rather cut their own hair than do their taxes. And then there are people that would rather do neither. I'm talking to you, Willie Nelson." –Craig Ferguson 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”