It's a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it (I don't have any fingerprints)

My uncle was a clown for Ringling Brothers Circus and when he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car. --Steven Wright

I bought this thing from my car. You put it on your car. It sends out this little noise so when you drive near the woods deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident and now when I drive down the street I have a herd of deer chasing me. --Steven Wright

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I thought to myself, you know now is the time I should start stealing some stuff since I don't have any fingerprints. --Steven Wright

It's a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it. --Steven Wright

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”