Friday, October 26, 2018

nomination for best Democrat acting like a Republican (Republican Bedtime Story)

"And the Golden Globe nominations came out yesterday. President Obama picked up a nomination for best Democrat acting like a Republican. So, congratulations." –Jay Leno

"And Citigroup announced it is paying taxpayers back the $20 billion in bailout money it took. Wells Fargo announced it's paying back $25 billion it borrowed. And Bank of America says they've paid back the $45 billion in taxpayer money they borrowed. So the good news is taxpayers got their money back from Wall Street. The bad news? Congress has it. You'll never see it again, O.K.? It is gone. It is gone forever." –Jay Leno

"This is pretty amazing. Computer technicians have found 22 million missing White House e-mails from the Bush administration. In a related story, the White House gardeners were digging in the backyard yesterday; they found three former Dick Cheney hunting buddies buried right there." –Jay Leno “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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