if the drive-thru were run by an alligator and his stripper girlfriend (We're awake, Bob!)

Recently passengers on a United Airlines flight from Scotland to New Jersey got a bit of a shock when the pilot came out of the cockpit, changed out of his uniform, and fell asleep in a first-class seat. The only way this could have been more concerning for the passengers is if the pilot also had an emotional support dog. --James Corden

A couple in Florida was just arrested for selling drugs out of their mobile home after police noticed that they had constructed — and we're not making this up — a drive-thru window. The only way this story could be more Florida is if the drive-thru were run by an alligator and his stripper girlfriend. --James Corden

During an interview yesterday, Bob Woodward, the veteran journalist and author of a new book detailing the chaos and insanity inside the Trump administration, concluded by saying that people need to "wake up" to what's going on in the White House. Wake up? We're awake, Bob! We're awake! I haven't had a full night's sleep in two years! --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”