Bush called immediately to make sure the oil was okay (The other half I wasted)

"Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called for universal health care coverage for all Californians. He came up with this idea while falling down a hill in Idaho and breaking his leg." --Jay Leno

"The U.S. submarine Newport News collided with a Japanese oil tanker in the Straits of Hormuz. When President Bush heard about it, the president called immediately to make sure the oil was okay." --Jay Leno

"President Bush addressed the nation with his new Iraq plan in a live speech broadcast from the White House library. Or as President Bush calls it, 'My books-on-tape room.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Also, during his speech Bush revealed his plan for phased withdrawal of Rosie O'Donnell from 'The View.'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”