As a final test, he was forced to spend two grueling hours in a sauna with O-Town (Ted's been a busy boy)

"Good news for Reverend Ted Haggard. Remember him? He was the President of the National Association of Evangelicals, who resigned last fall after he admitted fondness for gay men and meth amphetamines. After the scandal, he checked himself into Gay-A, which is increasingly popular. And it looks like things worked out great [on screen: reports that Haggard is now completely heterosexual following three weeks of intensive counseling]. As a final test, he was forced to spend two grueling hours in a sauna with O-Town." --Jimmy Kimmel

"I have some sad news for the gays, as they're referred to. Unfortunately, they have lost one of their own this evening -- Ted Haggard, the evangelical preacher, who as you know, was caught doing meth and f------ dudes. The Denver Post is reporting that he is now 'completely heterosexual.' People say how did they turn this clearly gay man into a heterosexual? It's very simple. You know when you were a kid and your father caught you smoking. Then he decided to make you smoke a carton. Ted's been a busy boy." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”