"This week senators
passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about.
Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all
bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno
"Earlier
today, Roger Clemens testified before Congress about his alleged use of
steroids and human growth hormone. There was an awkward moment when Clemens
leaned on the table and it shattered." --Conan O'Brien
"Not
a good night for Hillary Clinton. She got the pantsuit beaten off of her."
--Jay Leno
"Barack Obama is now
considered the front-runner. You know what they say, behind every successful
man is a woman. Hillary was surprised to find out that it was her." --Jay
Leno
"As
you know, Barack has won the last eight primaries. I haven't seen Hillary this
worried since they opened a Hooters in Chappaqua." --Jay Leno
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