Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game

"This weekend George W. Bush said it's a toss-up whether his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Bush said there's a 40-40 chance." –Seth Meyers

"Here in New York City you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game." –David Letterman



"You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss." –David Letterman