"Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of
giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York
Jets' doctor said, 'We don't give painkillers to our players. We give them to
our fans.'" –Conan O'Brien
"The Pope is coming to New York City. He said he would
like to hold audiences with the downtrodden. He's talking about the Jets and
the Giants." –David Letterman
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