"Pope Francis revealed that he
used to work as a nightclub bouncer. In the same interview he announced that on
Tuesday night ladies get into heaven for free." ––Conan O'Brien
"According
to a new report, America's teenagers are 30th in the world in math. Luckily,
America's teenagers will never understand the report because they're 85th in
reading." –Conan O'Brien
"Some people got through the Obamacare process only to discover they had inadvertently joined the Navy. They ship out next week." –Jimmy Kimmel
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