How did Vladimir Putin get his hands on my Match.com profile?

"Yesterday Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly told viewers that Santa Claus is white. Then she said Santa's elves are Mexican and they are stealing jobs from American elves." –Conan O'Brien



"In a speech, Russian president Vladimir Putin slammed the U.S. for being 'genderless and infertile.' My question is: How did Vladimir Putin get his hands on my Match.com profile?"  –Conan O'Brien



"Pope Francis has been named Time magazine's Person of the Year. Also congratulations to 'Big Bang Theory's' Jim Parsons. He was named Parsons of the Year. Also congratulations to Iranian President Hasan Rouhani. He was named Persian of the Year. And for the third year in a row, congratulations to cyanide, named Poison of the Year." –David Letterman