"New Jersey Governor Chris
Christie was re-elected by a huge margin. He gave a great speech last night. He
said he learned a lot in the last four years – for example, that lap-band
surgery doesn't always work." –Jay Leno
"Chris Christie won by such a
wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for
president. And he's got a new slogan: 'Put the oval in the Oval Office.'"
–Jay Leno
"The new mayor of New York City
is a progressive Democrat with an African-American wife who used to be a
lesbian. Or as Fox News reported, the apocalypse is upon us." –Conan
O'Brien
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