"The new mayor is married to a
woman who used to be a lesbian. His campaign slogan: 'If I turned her around,
imagine what I can do for New York City!'" –Conan O'Brien
"Chris Christie won a second
term as New Jersey governor last night. We like him. He's a good guy. Christie
said he couldn't have done it without his biggest supporter – and then his belt
said, 'Happy to help, man.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"People are criticizing the latest issue of Time magazine.
They've got Chris Christie on the cover with a silhouette and the headline,
'The Elephant in the Room.' But in their defense, I think they chose the least
offensive title. Here's the other ones they had: 'Chris Christie Have a Whale
of a Time.' I didn't like that one. 'Between a Rock and a Lard Place.' Yeah,
that's not good. And 'Hail to the Chef.'" –Jay Leno
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