You know what they say: Those who can't do, teach

"It turns out that Bristol Palin was paid 260,000 dollars in 2009 for her work with abstinence awareness. You know what they say: Those who can't do, teach." –Jimmy Fallon



"A lot of people wonder what a government shutdown would be like. I think a lot more people wonder what a government running properly would be like." –Jay Leno



"President Obama said today that Americans are just going to have to get used to higher gas prices. To which Dick Cheney said, 'That's change I can believe in. I like this Obama guy.'" –Jay Leno