He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head

"Fox News announced today that Glenn Beck will leave his show later this year. It's nothing personal. He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head." –Jimmy Fallon



"Members of Congress will still get paid if there's a shutdown. So it will be just like it is now. We'll be paying them to do nothing." –Jay Leno



"Glenn Beck has announced that he is leaving his show on Fox News this year. Even more surprising is that he's leaving to marry his life-partner, Abdul Gonzales." –Conan O'Brien