"Fox News' Geraldo Rivera was caught in the middle of a firefight between pro- and anti-government forces in Libya. He was lucky to get out alive because both sides were trying to shoot him." –Jay Leno
"Southwest Airlines said that the hole that ripped through the fuselage of one of their airplanes was not terrorism-related. Thank goodness! It was just maintenance neglect." –Jay Leno
"Former first lady Laura Bush said in an interview that she and George W. Bush do everything together. Then she said she had to go because 'SpongeBob' was on." –Conan O'Brien
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