To which Mitt Romney said, 'Game on.'

"At the convention tonight, the surprise speaker was Clint Eastwood. What's more surprising than a grumpy old white guy at the Republican convention?" –Craig Ferguson

"Paul Ryan made a speech the other night, even a columnist for Fox News said it set a world record for the greatest number of lies in a single speech. To which Mitt Romney said, 'Game on.'" –Bill Maher



"Fox News's coverage of the Republican convention got beat in their ratings by 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.' That's not a good comment on America. One is a view of the world as seen through the eyes of a redneck child, and the other is 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.'" –Bill Maher



John Hulse painting

Who Cares, He's Dead

"Paul Ryan stretching the truth to make his speech more effective is just another form of doping. In that if you believe him, you are a dope." –Stephen Colbert



"Clint Eastwood was the mystery guest tonight at the Republican convention. Finally, a senior citizen who scares Paul Ryan." –Jay Leno



"It's been reported the Republican convention decided not to show a hologram of Ronald Reagan for fear it would overshadow Mitt Romney. It's never a good sign when your candidate is in danger of being overshadowed by something that technically doesn't make a shadow." –Conan O'Brien



"A former Navy SEAL has a book out that claims Osama bin Laden was unarmed when he was shot. The book is called 'Who Cares, He's Dead.'" –Conan O'Brien





And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'

"I thought Mitt Romney's wife Ann did a good job at the Republican convention. During her speech, she said after they got married, she and Mitt lived in a basement. It was a 2-room basement on the French Riviera." –Conan O'Brien



"Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien



"John McCain was at the convention. He just wandered out on stage in his bathrobe." –David Letterman 

John Hulse painting

Then the Romney family dog gave the rebuttal

"Ann Romney spoke last night. I thought she was quite eloquent. Analysts say her role was to show that Mitt has a tender side. And then the Romney family dog gave the rebuttal." –Jay Leno



"Hurricane Isaac turned out to be not much of a threat to the Republican convention. But to their credit, the Republicans had a contingency plan. If the hurricane did hit hard, delegates were instructed to evacuate to Mitt Romney's tax shelter." –Jay Leno
 




John Hulse painting

You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak

"The theme of the Republican Convention is 'A Better Future.' Chris Christie will be the keynote speaker, and the theme of his speech will be similar. His theme will be 'A Butter Future.'"–David Letterman 



"Chris Christie will be delivering a 45-minute speech. Usually When Chris Christie talks for 45 minutes, it’s into the clown face at Jack In The Box’ –David Letterman







"A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak." –Conan O'Brien









John Hulse painting

Nobody ever talks about the good things hurricanes do

"This is my favorite statistic so far. According to a new poll, Mitt Romney is at zero percent among African American voters. And I don't think the GOP slogan at  the convention is helping any: 'See what white can do for you.'" –Jay Leno



"Donald Trump was bumped from speaking at the Republican convention because of Hurricane Isaac. See, nobody ever talks about the good things hurricanes do." –Jay Leno



"According to a poll released last week, Mitt Romney has zero percent of the black vote. In fact, if it weren't for John Boehner, Romney wouldn't have any support from people of color at all." –Jay Leno



John Hulse painting

50 Shades of White

"The winds in Tampa are so strong today, they blew the dog off the top of Romney's car." –David Letterman



"This year the theme of the Republican convention is '50 Shades of White.'" –David Letterman





"It looks like Hurricane Isaac has delayed the Republican convention for one day. See, I think the Republicans should use these 60-mile an-hour winds to their advantage. Mitt Romney should walk about there and go, here are my tax returns for the last 10 years. Oh my gosh, what happened?'" –Jay Leno 





"Some of the Republicans, I think, are over-reacting to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of every animal." –Jay Leno 





John Hulse painting