“As of Wednesday, the United States, with only 4% of the world’s population, had the most diagnosed cases of coronavirus in the world and the highest number of fatalities. But Donald Trump sees the sunny side of his abject failure, telling reporters earlier this week that he saw the number of cases as ‘a badge of honor’. I believe that badge is called the ‘Purple Heartless’. —Stephen Colbert
“Meanwhile, reports have tracked the conflict brewing between the Trump administration and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an agency usually known as a beacon for public health. You know, a pandemic is not the best time to be feuding with that particular agency. You never saw FDR pick a fight with the Center for Defeating Nazis.” —Stephen Colbert
“CDC officials have claimed that they’ve been ‘muzzled’ by the administration, particularly over its guidelines for how to reopen safely, which the administration ignored because they were ‘overly specific’. Based on those original guidelines, none of the places reopening currently qualify. So instead, this week, the CDC released watered-down criteria, because if you can’t meet the safety guidelines, just change them! Same way a sign that says ‘Danger! Electricity, do not enter,’ is a buzzkill, so you change it to ‘Danger! Electricity, but maybe you’ll get superpowers, get in here you wuss!’” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
