Open the schools! (It's about social control)

The producers of the upcoming James Bond movie No Time To Die announced that because of the coronavirus outbreak they are pushing the movie’s release date from April to November. Though I think they should still release the movie in April and just take out the No. —Colin Jost

A seven year old boy in Pennsylvania set a new world record by bouncing on a POGO stick more than 2,000 times in a row. Said the boy's parents, “Open the schools!” —Colin Jost

Post cereal has announced they will be making a new Sour Patch Kids flavored cereal. It’s a great way to start the morning off on the right foot because the left foot was taken by diabetes. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” (a small toy)

A new national poll found that Democrats now have a significant lead over Republicans in the congressional races. Republicans said, “And there’s only one man to blame for this,” and Donald Trump said, “Exactly: Billy Bush.” –Jimmy Fallon

Trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week which he referred to as “locker-room talk.” Well now pro athletes are speaking out against this, saying that’s not how they speak in the locker room. While Tim Tebow said, “I don’t even like to say ‘Billy Bush!’” –Jimmy Fallon

According to a new study, Americans are not eating anywhere near as much cereal. Everything else we’re eating a lot more of, but not cereal. I find this news kind of depressing. Although I’m not entirely sure why. The cereal was never really breakfast, so much as it was a large box for a small toy. –Jimmy Kimmel