Well, there's ONE priest whose vow of celibacy will never be questioned (by the end of the ceremony, something will be on fire)

A lot of people are getting excited about the pope’s upcoming visit. In fact, I read that a priest in Pennsylvania plans to show off a 500-thousand-piece Lego model of the Vatican that took him two years to build. Well, there's ONE priest whose vow of celibacy will never be questioned. –Jimmy Fallon

The 2020 Olympics are in Tokyo, and I saw that Japan wants to light the Olympic Torch with a flying car. Whether it works or not, by the end of the ceremony, something will be on fire. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary (complaints have dropped by 88%)

A pair of zebras got loose in downtown Philadelphia this weekend after escaping from a nearby circus. They were chased down and captured almost immediately by Eagles fans who mistook them for referees. –Seth Meyers

Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together this afternoon. And just to [tick] him off, Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary. – Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If it's green smoke, Willie Nelson has somehow gotten into the Sistine Chapel (body cameras)

Queen Elizabeth's horse tested positive for morphine and a mix of other powerful drugs. Sources say the queen is in denial. She thinks someone confused her horse's urine sample with Prince Harry's. —Craig Ferguson

"Actually, when the voting's done to elect a new Pope, the cardinals burn their ballots. People wait outside the Sistine Chapel to see what color the smoke is. If it's white smoke, they've agreed on a Pope. If it's black smoke, no decision has been made. If it's green smoke, Willie Nelson has somehow gotten into the Sistine Chapel." –Craig Ferguson

Happy birthday to England's Prince George, who turns 1 today. The prince’s first birthday party was a little different. His bouncy castle was an actual castle. And the pony rides were on Camilla. —Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”