"It's been reported that
Californians donated almost $600,000 to Chris Christie's re-election campaign.
And by Californians, I mean my monologue writers. They want that guy to stick
around." –Conan O'Brien
"Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced he will star in a
low-budget horror movie called 'The Toxic Avenger.' He wreaks havoc. He's a
monster. I have no idea what he'll do in the movie." –Craig Ferguson
"We had
an election in Los Angeles yesterday. Three measures involved medical
marijuana. The one that passed was a proposition that limits the number of
marijuana dispensaries in the city. The rule now is there cannot be more
marijuana stores than cupcake shops – because they feed on each other."
–Jimmy Kimmel
