A super PAC raised more than a million dollars for Andrew Cuomo's mayoral campaign last week. Cuomo was so excited he grabbed his own ass. —Kat Timpf
A green dildo was thrown on the field during a game between the Minnesota Vikings and Tennessee Titans. The fan who tossed it said he was hoping to free up the tight end. —Kat Timpf
I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to choose. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.
On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders, Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton
LT Paul McCartney, musician The Beatles
LT Nelson Mandela, South African leader
LG Jesus Christ, some folks Lord and Savior
LG Ringo Starr, musician The Beatles
C Charles Bukowski, poet
C Muddy Waters, musician
RG God
RG Winston Churchill, English Prime Minister
RT John Lennon, musician The Beatles
RT George Harrison, musician The Beatles
TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy wonder
WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster, wonder boy
DT Army, Jack Renforth (RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP), HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J. Purkey, Navy, T.F., Marines, David Wood, Marines, Ian Betts, Navy
More Colts players include Martin Luther King, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, as well as characters from Star Trek…
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf, Cmdr Data, James Kirk, Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer, Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge, Ben Sisko, etc.
Minnesota Vikings Fantasy Roster
Offense
QB Colin Kaepernick, NFL
QB Fran Tarkenton, NFL
QB Willie Beamen, Any Given Sunday, played by Jamie Foxx
HB Bob Dylan, musician
HB Jed Bartlet, West Wing, played by Martin Sheen
HB Jackie Robinson, baseball
HB Edward R. Murrow, journalist
FB Edward Snowden, whistleblower
WR Cris Carter, NFL
WR Randy Moss, NFL
WR Julian Assange, Wikileaks
WR Bernie Sanders, Independent senator, Vermont
WR Salem Poor, American Revolution
WR Noam Chomsky, philosopher
WR Usain Bolt, Olympic sprinter
WR Francois Truffaut, director
TE Malcolm X, civil rights leader
TE Kyle Kulinsky, political activist
TE David Wood, USMC
TE Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, played by Jason Segel
LT Gary Zimmerman, NFL
LT Thomas Frank, author
LG Jeremy Corbyn, English political leader
LG Willie Dixon, musician
C Glenn Greenwald, journalist
C Noam Chomsky, philosopher
RG Stephen Colbert, comedian
RG David Palmer, 24, played by Dennis Haysbert
RT Ron Yary, NFL
RT Bob Marley, musician
Defense
LE Jared Allen, NFL
LE Scott Replogle, boy wonder
LE Han Solo, Star Wars, played by Harrison Ford
LE George Foreman, boxing
LE Eric Clapton, musician
RE Carl Eller, NFL
RE Sun Tzu, Chinese military leader
RE Chuck D, musician
RE Billy Preston, musician
DT Elvis Presley, musician
DT Alan Page, NFL
DT Cmndr Worf, Star Trek, played by Michael Dorn
DT Jim Marshall, NFL
DT Gary Larsen, NFL
LB Ed Schultz, political activist
LB John Sheppard, Stargate Atlantis, played by Joe Flanigan
LB Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, played by Jason Segel
LB Lando Calrissian, Star Wars, played by Billy Dee Williams
LB Jason Bourne, NFL
LB Sugar Ray Robinson, boxing
LB Nelson Mandela, South African political leader
LB Alex Brewster, boy wonder
LB Immanuel Kant, philosopher
LB Stanley Kubrick, director
LB John Snow, Game of Thrones, played by Kit Harington
LB Toussaint
Louverture, slave revolt leader
LB Don Draper, Mad Men,
played by Jon Hamm
LB Django Reinhardt,
musician
CB Bob Dylan, musician
CB Prince, musician
CB Chuck Berry, musician
CB Jack Bauer, 24,
played by Keifer Sutherland
CB Tupac Shakur,
musician
CB Lee Camp, comedian,
political activist
CB Jules Winnfield,
Pulp Fiction, played by Samuel L. Jackson
FS Paul Krause, NFL
FS Miles Davis,
musician
FS Charles Deslondes,
slave revolt leader
SS Rob Stark, Game of
Thrones, played by Richard Madden
"Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. They're going to the Super Bowl. The Saints beat the Vikings. Former President George Bush Sr., he was at the game. Now, his son George W. was invited. But you know him, when it comes to New Orleans, he's always, like, two weeks late." –Jay Leno
"More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'" –Jay Leno
"Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk." –Jay Leno
