Frisbeetarian (remembering Carlin, pt. 1)

"Al Gore's movie about global warming broke into the 'Top Ten' this past week. President Bush was not impressed. He said the movie about me, Fahrenheit 9/11, did better than that." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said he's not going to see the film. He said he did go to see 'Ice Age 2: The Meltdown' so he has all the facts about global warming." --Jay Leno

"Actually, Al Gore's movie, An Inconvenient Truth, made about $2 million this past weekend, whereas X-Men made about $150 million. That just shows we're more interested in the fake people saving the fake earth than the real people trying to save the real earth." --Jay Leno

but the Supreme Court overturned it (remembering Johnny, pt 2)

"Did you know Al Gore was voted our second most popular guest ever? Actually he finished first, but the Supreme Court overturned it." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people said Al Gore was the best vice president the country ever had. Not to take anything away from Al, but look at the competition. He replaced a guy who couldn't spell 'potato' and was followed by a guy who shot someone in the face." --Jay Leno

"Al Gore's movie about global warming broke into the 'Top Ten' this past week. President Bush was not impressed. He said the movie about me, Fahrenheit 9/11, did better than that." --Jay Leno