that's just the sound of an angel getting its wings (Dad's belt)

This week was Teacher Appreciation Week, so thank you to the greatest teacher of all time... Dad's belt. —Colin Jost 

A group of middle-school students in Mississippi kept their bus from crashing after the driver passed out behind the wheel. The town says the kids are heroes who acted quickly, while the bus driver says, "The kids robbed me of the death I have long begged for.” —Colin Jost 

Police in New Jersey are investigating a construction site after a porta-potty mysteriously exploded, though in New Jersey, that's just the sound of an angel getting its wings. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”