he once mysteriously teleported to a Waffle House 50 miles away (Moist people)

A top FEMA official revealed in an interview that he once mysteriously teleported to a Waffle House 50 miles away… which is a phenomenon better known as drunk driving. —Colin Jost

Tiger Woods was arrested for a DUI after a rollover crash in Florida. Tiger said he was disappointed in himself because he just missed the green. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”