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Tuesday, April 30, 2024

If you don’t like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, I have bad news about your party’s nominee (myths made up by millionaires)


If you like puppies, you’re not going to like Kristi Noem. The governor of South Dakota and a possible running mate for Donald Trump, in her new book, first obtained by the Guardian, Noem admitted to killing her dog. Now, I know that sounds terrible, but it’s much worse. Because this wasn’t some rabid, 90 pound hell hound on a meth bender. It was a 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket.


It is worth pointing out: no one made Noem confess to puppy-snuffing. She volunteered this information, even saying: “I guess if I were a better politician I wouldn’t tell the story here.” So, why? Why did Cricket need to kick it? According to Noem, the puppy was “untrainable”. Well yeah! She was 14 months old!


Noem wrote – again, in a story no one asked her to tell us, that she took Cricket on a pheasant hunt that the puppy ruined, going “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life”. But who among us hasn’t seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought ‘you deserve to die.’


Cricket then made the fatal mistake of continuing to be a normal puppy on the way home. Noem wrote that on the way home, Cricket attacked her neighbor’s chickens. Governor Noem, if you don’t like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, I have bad news about your party’s nominee. —Stephen Colbert


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

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