Wow! Wow, Jerry, looking good! (Your money or your life)

A Ugandan police officer claims he was forced to shoot an aggressive tortoise that attacked him while he was drinking tea at home. In his defense, he had to act quickly, or move over a few feet and weigh his options for another hour.—Seth Meyers

According to a new report from BP, the earth will run out of oil in 53 years. Luckily, thanks to BP, the ocean will still have plenty.--Seth Meyers

"Injured New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will be replaced by Matt Cassel, an untested, inexperienced backup, earning Cassel the nickname, Sarah Palin." --Seth Meyers

Boeing is currently in possession of so many malfunctioning 737 MAX jets that they have started storing the planes in their employee parking lot. Either that or Jerry in marketing finally got that raise. “Wow! Wow, Jerry, looking good!” --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”