It's great to be back, but man, these things are boring when you're sober (You have to wait until we say 'Go!')

July 2014

"Yesterday Toronto Mayor Rob Ford attended his first city council meeting since he got back from rehab. He said, 'It's great to be back, but man, these things are boring when you're sober.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Rob Ford attended his first city council meeting. But it got weird when he said, 'Hello, Toronto City Council!' And they said, 'This is Buffalo, sir . . . And you have to put a shirt on.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Congrats to Joey Chestnut. On Friday he won the Fourth of July Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest by eating 61 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Another guy said, 'But I ate a hundred!' Then the judges said, 'You have to wait until we say 'Go!', Governor Christie.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"That's 61 hot dogs in 12 minutes, or as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie calls it – a snack." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”