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Sunday, March 8, 2020

Also fed up were the prostitutes he tried to run over (as it’s known commercially, a Shamrock shake)


At this point I think the debate should be on that quarantined cruise ship. And whoever can beat the coronavirus should become our next president. —Colin Jost

Students at Penn State held a candlelight vigil for a campus Taco Bell that is closing. Because after you eat Taco Bell, it never hurts to light a candle. —Colin Jost

Two men were arrested in India trying to smuggle in whale vomit. Or as it’s known commercially, a Shamrock shake. —Colin Jost

Relatives of an 11 year old boy were fined after they got fed up with him playing Grand Theft Auto too much and let him drive a real car. Also fed up were the prostitutes he tried to run over. —Colin Jost

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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