“O.K., is it just me or does it seem like someone took a dump in the Oval Office that didn’t flush and now they’re trying to blame it on America’s water systems?” --Trevor Noah
“Apparently it’s harder than I thought to get rid of a wedding ring.” --Seth Meyers
“What are you eating? The only time you flush a toilet 15 times is if the D.E.A. is banging on your door and you have a kilo of cocaine up you. That’s not normal.”--Jimmy Kimmel
“People in the room were like, ‘Maybe you’re not jiggling the handle properly.’ He’s like, ‘Read the transcript — it was a perfect jiggle.’” --Jimmy Fallon
“Let’s just assume that people are flushing their toilets 10 or 15 times. Does that mean that people are telling the president of the United States about their flushing habits or Trump is asking about them? I don’t understand. Like, forget about North Korea — how many times does it take for you to flush?” --Jimmy Fallon
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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