“The president is so desperate for approval right now. This morning, he replied to a tweet that called him ‘the best president ever,’ even though this tweet was posted in September of last year. Somehow he found it 14 months later. I don’t know if he searched the words ‘best president ever’ and that’s what came up, or maybe he has a backlog for those kinds of stuff. But it’s like digging up old love letters and going, ‘Wow, this chick’s got the hots for me!’” --Jimmy Kimmel
“I like how Trump says everyone who becomes president from now on can get impeached for having a phone call. Obviously, what Trump said on the phone call with Ukraine is what matters, not the fact that he just made a call. Trump’s either being disingenuous, or he took completely the wrong lesson from this whole thing. Because this would be like OJ going, ‘Alright, fine, I learned my lesson – I won’t wear gloves any more.’” --Trevor Noah
“I’m looking forward to a great 2020 because next year, we could be getting a new president. And on day one, he or she will have a very important job: getting the old president to leave the Oval Office peacefully. I suggest cake on a rope.” --Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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