You never find a dead body when you're sitting at home eating ice cream watching porno (you know what I’m saying?)

It’s good to be back in Toronto. You know what this town could really use? Another strip club. I think that would help things out. I went about a block and a half without seeing one and I got a little nervous. --Dave Attell

Here's a little drinking tip. Never get drunk when you're wearing a hooded sweatshirt because you will eventually think there's someone right behind you. --Dave Attell

I don't jog, you know why? It’s not because I'm against jogging. It’s because it always seems joggers are the ones that find the dead body. You never find a dead body when you're sitting at home eating ice cream watching porno, you know what I’m saying. --Dave Attell

Talk more about porn? You got it. Some people are against it and I say,  “Hey Oklahoma, whatever a man and a woman and another woman with a p*nis and a midget do to each other is their business.” --Dave Attell

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”