I can’t believe Trump and his chief of staff are fighting in public like this. But I’ve got to say, what I am really looking forward to is what nickname Trump is going to use when he eventually attacks Gen. Kelly on Twitter. Right now, my money is on Smelly Kelly. But I should say, if you are a betting person, here are the current Vegas odds right now [shows betting pool]: Jelly Belly Kelly is at 2 to 1, while John “The John as in Toilet!” Kelly is 6 to 1. A dark horse at 11 to 1 is “Kellyanne Johnway.” And at 16 to 1, gaining pace, is “Genital John Kelly.” So place your bets, good luck, everyone. --James Corden
After his doctor earlier this week said that he would recommend Trump exercise more, the president said yesterday that he gets “more exercise than people think.” Does he? I am not sure backpedaling on campaign promises counts as exercise. Although, many doctors agree that Trump tweets so furiously, it technically counts as cardio. --James Corden
In Touch magazine is set to drop a 5,000-word interview with porn star Stormy Daniels about a 2006 affair when she allegedly had sex with Donald Trump. All 5,000 of those words are “ew, ew, ew, ew.” --James Corden
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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