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Saturday, April 15, 2017

and you can trust your president not to lie to you (ask Pat Tillman)



In Beijing, because pollution has reached 35 times the safety level, children have been ordered to stay home. This could mean a delay for anyone who ordered a new iPhone. –Conan O’Brien

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"Good news from the White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman

"Actually they say the race between Barack and Hillary could be decided by the voters of Texas. Texas! Which is a comfort -- when it comes to providing smart politicians, Texas is the place you want to be." --Jay Leno




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