JOKES: The warden said it was an “open-and-can’t-quite-get-it-shut case.”

In Massachusetts, federal agents charged a man for money laundering after they found that he had been keeping $20 million under his mattress. Or as we’ll call it after a few years of Trump’s fiscal policy, “a bank.” –James Corden

There was a crazy story out of Venezuela. A 25-year-old woman was arrested after attempting to break her boyfriend out of prison by smuggling him in a suitcase. The warden said it was an “open-and-can’t-quite-get-it-shut case.” –James Corden

Honestly, that’s just impressive. Don’t put that guy in prison. Put him in Cirque du Soleil! But prison officials were not amused, and they sentenced him to 10 years of solitary confinement in a fanny pack. –James Corden