"Hillary's trying to appear down home. Earlier today she
was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit. "
–David Letterman
"The only fun thing about filing your tax return is
getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a
weird thing to be happy about. That means you've been overpaying all year long.
It's like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff
and brought it back and you said, 'Oh, presents.'" –Jimmy Kimmel
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