"Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun
fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other
words, she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to
win." –Conan O'Brien
"A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer
with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it
out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die." –Conan
O'Brien
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