"President Bush is back in
Texas, unemployed like much of the rest of America. Bush reportedly spent the
day cataloging his papers, outlining his memoirs, and sketching out plans for
his presidential library. Just kidding. He spent four hours seeing how many
Reese's Pieces he could hold between his toes. 38, it turns out." --Jimmy
Kimmel
"Tomorrow, America will
get to hear those four words we've been waiting for, 'former President George
Bush,' President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high,
because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you." --Jay
Leno
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