Stopped at random and manhandled by strangers

"North Korea has announced that it's developing its own smartphone. Unfortunately, the phones are so smart, they've already escaped from North Korea." –Conan O'Brien



"Some unelected, activist judge has rejected Stop and Frisk on the bizarre theory that minorities have the constitutional right not to be stopped at random and manhandled by strangers. Despite the fact that when the Constitution was written, minorities weren't even invented yet." –Stephen Colbert