"During a fundraiser last night, Mitt Romney told
Republicans that they need to pick a candidate for 2016 who can actually win.
And Republicans said, 'Yeah, I wish you told us that last year. But hey, thanks
a lot.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"We had President Obama on the show last night. It was a
huge honor, but all the security made it difficult getting into the building.
Security was checking IDs, the Secret Service was searching cars, Donald Trump
was out front checking birth certificates — it was crazy." –Jay Leno
"This
story just gets crazier: Two more women have come forward to accuse San Diego
Mayor Bob Filner of sexual misconduct. That brings the total to 13 — or as
Filner calls it, a groper's dozen." –Jay Leno
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