I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours

"Next week, President Obama will celebrate his 51st birthday. Obama already got one really nice gift: Mitt Romney’s trip to London." –Jimmy Fallon

"Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours." –Craig Ferguson 

"The word "sailing" sounds cool. It sounds better than "yachting," which sounds like something Mitt Romney does in his indoor lake." –Craig Ferguson



John Hulse painting