"A dead body was discovered this week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth. The queen said today she hopes this serves as a reminder to anybody on her staff that there is a right way and a wrong way to polish sterling silver." –Jay Leno
"Tonight is the new season of 'Jersey Shore.' It promises to have all of the name calling, sex scandals, and backstabbing of the Republican primaries." –Conan O'Brien
"Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is under fire for a remark he made in Iowa about black people. The remark has sparked outrage among Iowa's black community, otherwise known as Steve." –Conan O'Brien
John Hulse photography
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