I'll be there in five teachers

"President Obama told the nation ‘The state of our union is strong,’ while Newt Gingrich told his wife, 'The state of our union is open.'" –Conan O'Brien



"A new website just came out that’s designed to calculate how long it takes Mitt Romney to earn your salary. So from now on, whenever Mitt Romney is running late, he can call there and say, 'I'll be there in five teachers.'" –Conan O'Brien



"What's interesting is in the time it took you to think about that joke, Mitt Romney made $65 million." –Conan O'Brien

John Hulse painting