"On
his book tour George W. Bush said, 'I was a Blackberry person, and now I’m an
iPad person, so I hope you buy my book in hardcover and electronically.' So
there you have it. George W. Bush doesn’t care about Blackberries." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Nigerian
authorities are charging former Vice President Dick Cheney on a bribery scandal
that involves Haliburton. That's when you know you're bad, when guys in Nigeria
are accusing YOU of running a scam. Cheney has offered to be hooked up to a
polygraph, as soon as he's unhooked from the defibrillator." –Jay Leno
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