They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real

"Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real." –Conan O'Brien



"Time magazine is now ranking the best tweets of the year and, according to Time, the best tweet for 2010 was written by John McCain. Experts say it's even more impressive because McCain thought he was opening his garage door." –Conan O'Brien



"Not only will Condoleezza Rice testify, but President Bush has also agreed to meet with the (9/11) commission. He's going to testify, but he said he wants have Dick Cheney there with him. Why does he want Cheney with him? What? Does he have a learner's permit to be president and have to have an adult with him." —Jay Leno