we can absolutely see right through him (the Trump files featuring Jeffrey Epstein)

“Whatever is in those Epstein files must be really f*cking bad. They must be finding so many mentions of Trump they’re going to have to change the name to the Trump files featuring Jeffrey Epstein.” —Seth Meyers

“I honestly think we’re just one Epstein story away from Trump announcing that UFOs are real.” —Seth Meyers

At a recent JD Vance event in Ohio, the vice-president was asked about the Jeffrey Epstein files that are still dogging Trump. Vance said Trump has been “incredibly transparent about that stuff”. And I agree – we can absolutely see right through him. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Frankenstein with an ACL tear (and you never hear sh*t about the other 50 areas)

“Maga is trying to reconcile their loyalty to Trump and their demand to see the Epstein files,” as Trump lashes out at Republicans asking for more information, such as Kentucky representative Thomas Massie, who introduced a House resolution ordering the justice department and the FBI to release “all unclassified records, documents, communications, and investigative materials” in their possession. Trump blasted Massie online, calling him “lazy and slow-moving” – which are obviously the most accurate ways to describe Donald Trump. He moves like his entire diet consists of eucalyptus leaves. Even a Trump fan can’t deny that he lumbers like Frankenstein with an ACL tear. —Seth Meyers

“Trump is so scared of whatever is in those files, the Republicans have decided that instead of voting, they should just all go home. The House speaker, Mike Johnson, sent Congress home on an early summer recess to avoid any vote on the issue. The more you try to hide something, the more people want to see what it is. That’s why people still talk about Area 51, and you never hear shit about the other 50 areas.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he’s in more pictures with Jeffrey Epstein than Hall is with Oates (he’s basically a plum)

And the White House released a memo outlining the president’s health issues, saying that the bruising seen on the back of his hand in several photographs was “consistent with minor soft tissue irritation from frequent hand-shaking”. I just love that his followers have to somehow reconcile this idea that he’s this powerful strongman but also he gets bruises if you touch him. He’s the indestructible savior of America, but also he’s basically a plum. —Seth Meyers

“Even with his established history of unraveling, the last few weeks he seems to be losing his shit in a new sustained way over the Epstein scandal. Trump is lashing out at his base, calling them “losers”, comes even as his loyalists try to convince him they’re still on his side. When are these guys gonna learn that Donald Trump doesn’t care about what you care about? You thought he was going to bring down inflation, deport violent criminals and release all the Epstein files. Inflation is heating up, he’s putting innocent people in camps, and he’s in more pictures with Jeffrey Epstein than Hall is with Oates.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

then it wouldn’t be so painful when he drives the world into a telephone pole (emergency contact)

Folks, I read once that if you’re a passenger in an auto accident, it helps if you’re just a little drunk. Because – and the science backs this up – a drunk passenger is a little loose. And if you’re a little loose, you’re less likely to get severely injured than if you tense up right before impact. Which brings me to our president. I think at this point, it would help if we were all just a little drunk. Because maybe then it wouldn’t be so painful when he drives the world into a telephone pole. —Stephen Colbert

In other news, King Charles named his wife, Queen Camilla, the vice admiral of the United Kingdom last week in honor of her 78th birthday. And not to be outdone, President Trump has finally named First Lady Melania as his emergency contact. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Big Daddy Bronzer (and just to cover all my bases, let’s throw in the entire Cheesecake Factory menu)

“You know how they say there’s no such thing as bad publicity? They’re not talking about this. The Wall Street Journal also reported that the documents included hundreds of other names, according to a source. Of course! Names like Donald Trump, Donald John Trump, Donald J Trump, Donnie Trump, Donald Trump Jr’s father, Big Daddy Bronzer AKA the Donald and a mystery man only known as Micro-Penis DJT.” —Stephen Colbert

A video has resurfaced of Jeffrey Epstein’s deposition from 2010, in which he was asked if he ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of females under the age of 18. Epstein answered: “Though I’d like to answer that question, at least today, I’m going to have to assert my fifth, sixth and 14th amendment rights, sir.” Not a great sign when the pedophile is being asked if you’re doing a pervert ride-along, and their response is ‘I’d like to invoke the entire constitution, Magna Carta, the Napoleonic code and just to cover all my bases, let’s throw in the entire Cheesecake Factory menu.’ —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I Never Visited Big Butt Island (enough times to earn diamond pervert status)

According to court records, Donald Trump flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane at least seven times. That doesn’t mean he did anything illegal, but it’s not a great look when you fly on the pedophile’s plane enough times to earn diamond pervert status. —Stephen Colbert

The furor over Epstein is digging up other moments from Trump’s creepy past, such as a clip from the Howard Stern show in 2006 where he said he “had no age limit” for sex with women. The Stern clip is just a small taste of his long public history of pervitude, and it all makes it hard to accept Donald Trump’s Epstein denials. I mean, it would be easier to accept Sir Mix-a-Lot releasing ‘I Never Visited Big Butt Island.’ —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

all the king’s men couldn’t hide who Dumpty humped with his friend (Choose the Exit)

“It’s a great day to be me, because I am not Donald Trump. That guy has got a lot of problems. First of all, the Jeffrey Epstein scandal just won’t ‘kill itself.’ And we might have a hint why Trump hasn’t been that eager to release those files. According to Dick Durbin, a Democratic senator from Illinois, a thousand FBI agents were put on 24-hour shifts in March to review approximately 100,000 records related to Epstein and flag any mentions of Trump. That is a suspiciously Herculean effort. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t hide who Dumpty humped with his friend.” —Stephen Colbert

Now even Maga is demanding answers – 11 congressional Republicans have said they will join Democrats to vote to release the Epstein files, making a majority in Congress. In response, speaker Mike Johnson shut down the House until September to block the vote. You cannot blame Trump and his allies for being scared here, because the more we know about Trump’s relationship to Epstein, the more we wish we didn’t. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”